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Let Go of Being Right – When Being Right Is Wrong (and Dangerous)

By LisaNotes April 14, 2026 Grace, Trust 47 Comments

“Yes, the mind is very useful, but when it does not recognize its own finite viewpoint, it is also useless.”
– Richard Rohr

When We Think We Know

It was mid-day on a Friday. Jeff and I finished touring inside the Mid-America All-Indian Center in Wichita, looking at the pottery and drums and Native artwork by Blackbear Bosin.

Now we’d walk the grounds of the Outdoor Learning Center to sit in the tipi and look at the gardens. The afternoon was pleasant. We kept walking.

We left the Center’s property, walked beyond the gate to nearby Keeper Plaza to see Bosin’s famous Keeper of the Plains statue. Time slipped away.

It was now after 4:00, the Center’s closing time.

Behind us, a Center employee was about to lock the gate behind us. We quickly slipped back inside the Center grounds so we could return to our truck.

But which way now? With the Center closed, and the grounds gate now locked, how could we get back to the parking lot?

Oh, I knew the way. Jeff didn’t agree, but he didn’t argue (he’s good like that). Let’s just go to the right, I said.

But I was wrong.

I just don’t always know right away that I’m wrong.

Thinking we’re always right can be dangerous. I know. It’s gotten me in trouble many times.

“We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are. Take that as nearly certain.”
– Richard Rohr

I’ve been sharing four statements that I try to live by. I keep them posted on my bedroom mirror. They are agreements with myself.

Today I’m sharing #2 of the four:

#2. Let go of being right.

(See #1 here, Give the Benefit of the Doubt, “Do You Assume the Best or Worst? And a Barking Lady.”)

Three Dangers of Always Being Right

Danger #1: Losing Friends

Nobody likes a know-it-all. Insisting that we’re right is obnoxious.

Being overconfident in our knowledge is dangerous to our character. And to our relationships.

We incorrectly assume we’ll gain prestige and authority if we are all-knowing. But the opposite usually happens. Pride destroys. It causes us to see ourselves as right and judge others as wrong, which is not just off-putting; it is wrong.

Solution: Practice humility.

Be aware of your ability to get things wrong, even when you think you’re right. Worry less about protecting your reputation and more about being humble. Instead of being combative, listen to others’ opinions and find common ground. If it matters, discuss it graciously. If it doesn’t matter, let it go.

Danger #2: Losing Security

Thinking we have to always be right is also dangerous to our mental and emotional health. When we think we have to be perfect in order to be loved, we live in fear. And we can’t flourish under a spirit of fear.

Nor a spirit of self-dependence. Relying on only our self-knowledge leads us away from engaging with and learning from others, and into a life of loneliness.

Solution: Trust the process.

Not your own perfection. Remember there will always be mysteries you’ll never understand. Trust that you’ll know enough when you need to know it, and be content with the unknowns yet to be revealed later or never at all.

Danger #3: Losing Maturity

While in the moment it feels good to be proven right, the quest to be omniscient can rob us of growth in the long term.

A taste of knowing it all can leave us greedy to be right all the time. And once we think we’ve arrived at perfect knowledge, we lose our ability to learn more.

Solution: Know what you don’t know.

The best way to know more is to realize you know less. Even if you already know a lot, there is always more to learn. But only if you’re teachable. Learn more by listening more, reading more, loving more. Stay open.

Benefits of Not Being Right

Not only do we not like pride in others, neither do they like it in us.

When we let go of our need to be right, we are more respectful of those around us.

We grows in our relationships,
in our love,
and in our knowledge.

Send more compassion into the world with your humility.

It’s better to be more loving than always right.

How did we find our way back to our truck at the Indian Center?

We asked someone who knew.

Thankfully, an outside employee gratefully showed us an unlocked door back into the building. We walked through, out the front door, and straight to the parking lot.

Being “right” had gotten me lost.
But being humble set me free.

* * *

We all like to be right. But sometimes we don’t do it well.

Do you like to be right, too? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

revised from the archives

See all 4 agreements (click on individual infographics)

1-Give the benefit of the doubt | 2-Let go of being right | 3-Don’t take it personally | 4-Just show up

Whatever Happens, We’ll Handle It

This is a statement I like to repeat to myself:

Whatever happens, we’ll handle it.

The whatever moments in life are unpredictable. There’s no way to adequately prepare for all the unknowns.

But regardless of our shifting situations, we’re never completely helpless. In most any situation, we can still:

hold onto our values
work on our character
nurture our relationships

so that whenever the whatever hits, we’re as prepared as possible, even if that preparation qualifies only as barely.

And even if our handling it is a barely adequate description of what we’re doing.

Handling it doesn’t mean we find it’s easy. Or that it’s not painful. Or that it will go away quickly. There are some things we have to handle for a lifetime.

But handling it does mean we get through it, one day at a time, maybe one hour at a time.

And the “we” in “Whatever happens, we’ll handle it“?

Sometimes the we may be just me and my thoughts.

But usually there are more. Almost always there is at least one or maybe many more people to also help us through.

Those we may vary from season to season. They may include immediate family or wise friends or health care workers or online support or sometimes even a complete stranger we meet once and never see again.

Yet regardless of whoever and whatever our support network looks like, we’re never totally alone with no resources.

So I continue depending on this:

Whatever happens, we’ll handle it.

Share in the comments.

This is #23 of the series: Find Your Mantra {28 Daily Mantras}

revised from the archives

Previous:
“Love matters more” {Mantra 22}

Next:
“They don’t have to understand” {Mantra 24}

The Stories We Listen To: 6 (and 1/2) Books That Invite You to Pay Attention

By LisaNotes April 3, 2026 Books I Recommend 16 Comments

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
— Maya Angelou

I’ve noticed that this month’s books kept returning to this: listening—and even more than that, paying attention. To other people’s stories, to my own experiences, even to what’s happening beneath the surface.

Each of these books, despite their different tones, invites a deeper kind of awareness.

Here are the six books I just finished that I recommend—all of them, in their own way, asking us to pay closer attention.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. How Donating a Kidney Fixed My Jump Shot
And 73 Other Short Essays
by Jim Sollisch

I love this witty collection of essays that journalist Sollisch published over the years, then gathered into this book. The topics range from everyday life to cultural quirks, but what stood out most is how closely he was paying attention to ordinary moments—and how often he found deeper insights there.

And, per the title, Sollisch did actually donate a kidney—and highly recommends the experience. It helped him take his own life more seriously and playfully, and a side effect was his jump shot did actually improve as he intentionally became healthier.

2. By Hands Now Known
Jim Crow’s Legal Executioners
by Margaret A. Burnham

This one was difficult to read, not gonna lie. Not because of how it was written, but because of the brutal content. I was determined to finish it, though, because it felt important to pay attention—to bear witness to the crimes committed against Black people during the Jim Crow era between 1920 and 1960.

The book shares case after case of real injustice in the U.S. legal system. I read it with an online book club, and the discussion there felt just as weighty—and just as necessary.

3. How to Tell a Story
The Essential Guide to Memorable Storytelling from The Moth
by The Moth, Meg Bowles, Catherine Burns, & 5 more

Such a fun book! Not only does it teach you how to craft meaningful, personal stories, it also invites you to pay attention to the moments that become stories in the first place. The examples were delightful—I found myself wishing I could track down the full stories.

Learning to mine our own lives for stories (even if we never tell them out loud) is one way to recognize how meaningful each life truly is.

4. Dream on It
Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life
by Lauri Loewenberg

I hold books like this loosely, but this book is useful as a tool for understanding common dream symbols—like being back in school or showing up somewhere without your clothes on. Even though each symbol ultimately remains unique to every individual’s life story, it’s helpful to read that dreaming about a big storm might indicate you’re concerned about some storm in your waking life, for example.

I’ve been noticing my own dreams more over the past few months (including recurring themes like my cell phone not working). Some dreams are completely crazy (like my dream about a young Snoop Dogg having a huge crush on me—what???), but others do help me understand what I’m worrying about or what I’m celebrating.

4½. The Let Them Theory
A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
by Mel Robbins

I’m not fully recommending this book, but the positives of it did outweigh the negatives, so here it is, with this caveat: while the message was good, it felt very repetitive and didn’t need to fill a whole book.

Basically, it says you can’t control other people, so stop trying. Work on changing yourself instead. I agree.

FICTION

5. Speak
by Laurie Halse Anderson

This novel will stay with me for a while. It’s narrated by Melinda, a high school freshman carrying a recent trauma she hasn’t told anyone about. The story unfolds throughout the school year as tension builds from her pent-up silence.

Discussing this one with an in-person book club made it even more powerful. Several women shared their own stories from years past. I was reminded how some things never leave you, no matter how long ago they happened.

6. Sold
by Patricia McCormick

This is another haunting novel I won’t soon forget. It’s about Lakshmi, a 13-year-old girl living in poverty with her family in Nepal. Until a glamorous stranger comes to town and buys her. The story is beautifully told, but it is gut-wrenching as we follow the naive, young Lakshmi into a world she didn’t know existed.

It’s the kind of book that asks you to pay attention to realities we’d rather look away from—and to the resilience it takes for someone to survive them.

WHAT I’M READING NOW

Remarkably Bright Creatures
by Shelby Van Pelt
Beyond the Politics of Contempt
Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times
by Doug Teschner, Beth Malow, Becky Robinson
Nations Apart
How Clashing Regional Cultures Shattered America
by Colin Woodard
The Unfolding: Poems
by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer
How to Feel Loved
The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most
by Sonja Lyubomirsky
Last Chance Live!
by Helena Haywoode Henry
Braving the Truth
Essential Essays for Reckoning with and Reimagining Faith
by Rachel Held Evans

A Closing Reflection

Looking back at these six books, I see how much there is to notice when we slow down and really pay attention. Whether through stories, lived experiences, or even dreams, insight is always there—waiting for us to recognize it. And maybe that’s the invitation: not just to read these stories, but to listen more closely to the stories unfolding in our own lives.

What’s a good story you’ve read lately that’s stuck with you? I’d love to hear in the comments.

I’m sharing at these linkups

Learning from What Grows and Fades: Share 4 Somethings (March)

By LisaNotes March 30, 2026 Life updates, Shift: One Word 2026 5 Comments

March is a living demonstration of flexible shifts—I wore shorts on a hot Sunday, then it snowed on Monday.

My One Word this year is Shift, and this month I’ve been focusing on the shifts that nature offers: things grow and things fade. Both are necessary for the rhythm to work.

Nothing stays the same forever, and everything that disappears opens up space for something new. (I even learned a new word this month for dead autumn leaves that hang on until they’re pushed off in spring.)

Each month I share favorite somethings from Jenn’s four categories.

I also share my previous month’s One Second Everyday video.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

1. Something I Loved

LIVE MUSIC

In a month’s span, Jeff and I went to two new concerts featuring old music. It was a beautiful shift in time, being transported back to songs from my youth, yet experiencing them live in 2026.

The first concert was a variety of bands singing hits from the 1970s. The second was the Black Jacket Symphony’s Stayin’ Alive concert, a full Bee Gees experience (I loved Barry Gibb back in the day; he’s now 79 years old and the only surviving brother).

While music is meant to be experienced in the moment, it lingers on in the soul, even after the band stops playing.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

2. Something Sustaining Me

BOOK CONVERSATIONS

Books sustain me every month, but this month I enjoyed extra companionship than normal through book clubs. Some met in person, others online. Some meet regularly; others more sporadically. One was for this month only. But they all aligned to happen in the same month this time, a rare and welcome intersection.

Here’s what I read for book clubs this month (and a few books are ongoing still):

Out of Darkness
Beyond the Politics of Contempt
Beyond Belief (+ a one-on-one zoom conversation I won with the author, Nir Eyal; we talked for an hour about his new book!)
Speak
Women Who Run With the Wolves
By Hands Now Known

Each book—and each book club group—brought a different kind of connection. New ideas, growing perspectives, and deep conversations.

Shifts may begin individually, but they can accelerate in community.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

3. Something Carrying Me Forward

COLONOSCOPY (ugh!)

Forgive me if this is TMI, but I had yet another colonoscopy this month. I never look forward to them, but I give them credit for keeping me still here.

My first colonoscopy 17 years ago is when my doctor discovered colon cancer. Since then, I return every 1-3 years. They’re inconvenient in the moment, but they carry me forward a few more years. Even though colon cancer runs in my family (and in me), if it’s caught early, it’s usually very treatable.

A colonoscopy is a different kind of shift. It centers you into the immediacy of the day, but when you zoom out, you appreciate the benefit of years it provides.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

4. Something I’m Making Space For

iPHONE STORAGE

Ready or not, I’ve been making space on my phone this past week.

The latest iOS update claimed my final 13 GB of storage (rude), leaving me with only a 1 GB margin. So I’ve been letting go of things I no longer need on my phone—deleting unused apps, erasing messages, clearing off duplicate photos. Because I need room for things yet to come.

But it’s still not enough. I may attempt a full phone reset later this week (send good thoughts!) to reduce iOS and System Data; it’s currently eating up 37 GB of storage.

Sometimes making space is trusting that even if important things are lost, they’ve already become part of who I am. And that won’t go away.

———

March reminds me that nature doesn’t resist its own shifts. It lets things happen when they happen, not too soon and not too late. No apologies either way.

Growing up and letting go aren’t opposites—they are partners. That’s what I’m trying to accept, too: trust what is growing and gently release what is fading. Together, they make room for whatever is coming next.

A Question for You:

What new thing is growing in your life? Any old thing fading away?

Share your thoughts in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Define It, Find Its Twin, Meet Its Opposite: 3 Ways to Revisit Your One Word
{One Word 2026 March Linkup}

By LisaNotes March 26, 2026 One Word Community, Shift: One Word 2026 8 Comments

This month try getting more curious about your One Word of the Year.

Revisit your one word by taking a few minutes with a dictionary and a thesaurus (paper or digital) to get a closer look at your word—and gain some fresh insights about it.

Step 1: Define Your Word

Start by looking up your word in a dictionary.

You might already think you know what it means—but pause and read through all the definitions anyway.

Are there multiple meanings?
Does one stand out more than the others for this season?
Is there a definition you hadn’t considered before?

Sometimes a fresh definition can shift how you see it for the rest of the year.

For my word Shift, I found many meanings:

- Move from one place to another
- Change gear in a vehicle
- A slight change in position or direction
- Scheduled work period
- A type of loose-fitting dress
- A key on a keyboard
- Irish slang, to kiss or make out

The definition I’m using the most this year is the third: shift = a slight change in position or direction.

I was most surprised to learn of the last one: shift = to kiss or make out.

Step 2: Find What Your Word Is the “Same As”

Next, look up synonyms—words that are similar in meaning.

As you read through them, ask yourself:

Which of these feels closest to what I need right now?
If I had to choose a “backup word,” what would it be?

This isn’t about replacing your word—it’s about expanding it.

A few synonyms for Shift are:

- Change
- Move
- Fluctuate
- Turn
- Strategy
- Impermanence

If I had to choose a backup word, it would be Impermanence because I know that everything is always changing.

Step 3: Explore Your Word’s Opposite

Now, look up antonyms—words that mean the opposite.

This step may surprise you.

What feels like the clearest opposite of your word?
Where do you notice that showing up in your life?

Understanding what your word isn’t can often bring clarity to what it is.

Some antonyms for Shift are:

- Sameness
- Stagnation
- Directness
- Permanent
- Remain

The surprising opposite for me is: Directness. I haven’t thought of Shift as being indirect. I’m looking in my life to see if I’m being too direct or inflexible about something instead of being willing to bend and shift where needed.

Share What You Discover

We’d love to hear what you notice about your word.

Our March One Word linkup opens today, March 26, and will stay open for two weeks.

You can share in whatever way feels easiest:

a quick comment
a short reflection
a full blog post

There’s no right or wrong way to do this.

We’ll link up again next month on Sunday, April 26 (linkups are always on the 26th for 2026).

What is your word showing you right now?

Question for you:
Is there a definition, synonym, or antonym of your word that surprised you?

Share your thoughts about your One Word or monthly theme in the comments.

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas for 2026, join here.

- Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word

When the Body Shows the Score

By LisaNotes March 24, 2026 Encouragement 9 Comments

The Final Buzzer

It happens every year. In almost the exact same way. And yet every year I am equally moved by it.

It’s the body language after a basketball game.

One weekend a year, my husband Jeff and I travel to Birmingham, AL, to spend the weekend watching high school basketball state finals, one game after another. (It’s our annual lead up to watching college’s March Madness on TV.)

And after each game, once the final buzzer sounds, without looking at the scoreboard, it’s always obvious who won and who lost.

The bodies tell the score.

Expansion and Contraction

On one side of the gym, arms fly up. Legs leap up and down. Loud hoots and hollers spill out of mouths. Everyone hugs everyone near them. Exhilarated.

Complete expansion.

But on the other side of the gym, hands cover eyes. Heads go down. Everybody is quiet. Individual bodies may crumple onto the floor, solitary, alone. Exhausted.

Complete contraction.

It’s so human of us.

What Our Bodies Reveal

Sometimes we remain in tight command of our bodies, disguising what we’re feeling, but often our bodies give us away.

Happiness and sorrow we feel on the inside have a way of showing up on the outside. And again this year, I’m amazed as I watch it. Over and over and over.

Bessel van der Kolk may have said that the body keeps the score.

But we all demonstrate that the body shows the score, too.

Texas women celebrate win in Round 2 of the NCAA college basketball tournament, Sunday, March 22, 2026 (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

What’s one small way your body reveals how you feel? Did you pick a winner for the NCAA tournament? (I chose Purdue; my bracket is in bad shape, but I still have a chance.)

Share in the comments.

How Present Are You in Your Happy Place?
I was literally in my happy place. Yet my mind wandered off anyway. Was my body still keeping the score?
What If Your Body Has Been Doing Her Best All Along?
A simple assignment led me to an unexpected realization—my body, although imperfect, has always been the best place for me to be.
When Compassion for Others Takes a Sharp Turn
Our mother/daughter experience donating blood took an unexpected turn, reminding me how fragile we really are.

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