Lisa notes

7 Books That Gave Me Something to Think About

By LisaNotes October 5, 2026 Books I Recommend 5 Comments

“Writing is, in the end, that oddest of anomalies: an intimate letter to a stranger.”
— Pico Iyer

The seven books I finished reading this past month turned out to be a wonderfully eclectic grouping—grief, conflict, writing, politics, executions, identity, and whether we really need all that new stuff we’re tempted to buy or consume.

Maybe you’ll find one or two here that also interests you.

[See previously recommended books here]

NONFICTION

1. Saying No to New
Why New Things Are Stealing Your Time, Money, and Happiness―and How to Take Back Your Life
by Eric Athas

I’m not a big spender or trend follower, but I still needed this book to remind me of the importance of keeping our cravings for anything “new” to a minimum, for all kinds of reasons. Chasing new things can be so draining—of time, money, attention. (Including chasing new books??? Uh-oh)

Learning to be satisfied with what we already have can be its own gift.

[Full review coming soon]

2. The Geography of Loss
Embrace What Is, Honor What Was, Love What Will Be
by Patti Digh

This is a sad and beautiful and hopeful book, all at the same time. I received it as a gift from my dear friend Lynn, who is experiencing the loss of her dear mother.

The book explores grief and loss in many forms and circumstances, helping the reader map the new territory of life after loss. The illustrations are just as engaging as the words.

3. The Art of Fighting
The Transformative Power of Conflict
by Priya Parker

Instead of avoiding conflict, Parker encourages us to dive into it. Not to “fight” per se, but to process what matters to us. She writes mainly about group conflicts, a topic we don’t hear much about (we usually read about personal conflicts). She has so many poignant insights on the advantages of addressing differences up front versus running away from them.

I heard her speak in my city a couple weeks ago and saw how passionate she is about this topic. One of my book clubs will start this book soon, taking one chapter at a time. I’m looking forward to what we’ll pull out of it together.

4. Closing the Slaughterhouse
The Inside Story of Death Penalty Abolition in Virginia
by Dale M. Brumfield

This is both a gruesome book and a light in the dark. Brumfield goes in-depth about how Virginia went from being a strong death penalty state to one that abolished it altogether. He tells lots of stories of how that change finally came about.

I participated in an online book club with Brumfield about his book and learned even more. He shared:

how a death penalty sentence costs taxpayers 3-5x more than a sentence of life without parole
how 1 prisoner is eventually exonerated of their crime for every 8 prisoners who have been executed
how death penalty sentencing has been racially biased
how we do have options instead of state killings, such as life without parole

One takeaway for me: the more I learn about the death penalty, the more I want to see it abolished everywhere.

5. Don’t Think of an Elephant!
Know Your Values and Frame the Debate
by George Lakoff

Such an enlightening book! Lakoff explains that how we frame political positions can shape the decisions we make about them.

For example, he claims that most conservatives prefer our nation follow a strict father model, whereas most liberals prefer a nurturing parent model. Each framing ripples out to become different positions on all kinds of issues.

Wherever you fall on the political spectrum, you’ll learn something about yourself and the “other side” in this book, hopefully bringing us more together than further apart.

6. Good Writing
36 Ways to Improve Your Sentences
by Neal Allen, Anne Lamott

I love this little book. So fun! Author Neal Allen gives 36 concise lessons for making sentences clearer, stronger, and more engaging, followed at the end of each chapter with a short take on the rule by his wife and writer Anne Lamott (who I especially love).

It is full of practical writing tips, but also of wit and wisdom.

7. Brown Girl Dreaming
by Jacqueline Woodson

For several chapters, I thought this was a novel because it reads like one. But it eventually dawned on me that Woodson was writing about her own childhood growing up as a Black girl in South Carolina and New York during the 1960s and 1970s.

Each chapter is short and written in beautiful verse. It opens you to seeing the world through her eyes. . . and into her love of words.

FICTION

I didn’t finish a single novel this month.

Well, I did start one that I gave up on (see below) . . . and I currently have two in progress.

DID NOT FINISH

Project Hail Mary
by Andy Weir

I liked the movie (for the most part), but I just couldn’t get into the book. It was way too technical for me. Usually I read the book before I see its movie version (and I always prefer the book), but I did this set in reverse. Maybe that played a part in not liking the book as much?

WHAT I’M READING NOW

The Midnight Train
by Matt Haig
The Great Rift
by Brian D. McLaren
Live Laugh Love
The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made
by Kristin Kobes DuMez
No Contact
How a Seductive Ideology Broke Families and Friendships and How We Can Repair Them
by Noelle Mering
Damned If She Does
Why Women Quit Church and What It Means for the Future of Religion
by Sarah Stankorb

What’s a good book you’ve read lately? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m sharing at some of these linkups

Books, Bugs, and Behind-the-Scenes Work
—Share 4 Somethings September 2026

By LisaNotes September 30, 2026 Life updates 8 Comments

I’ve noticed that September has been a month of doubles.

2 bugs I didn’t want on my body.
2 book club experiences that were bigger than the books.
2 authors I met and am now reading.
2 volunteer projects behind a screen.

Each month I link my Share 4 Somethings post with Jenn.

I also share here my One Second Everyday video from the previous month.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

1. Something I Love

UNEXPECTED COEXISTENCE

Stick with me because this may sound like things I hate instead of things I love.

I saw a small bump on my stomach one recent morning. I didn’t think too much about it but showed it to my husband Jeff later that night. He immediately questioned it.

With a closer look, we discovered it was a tick. Yikes.

He easily pulled it off for me. I’m very grateful that he has no qualms about such things because I do.

Then last Sunday night, I woke up around 2 a.m. and felt something on my neck. I grabbed it in the dark and set it on my nightstand so I could look at it in the morning when it was light. Maybe a cracker crumb from eating in bed the night before?

Monday morning I took a closer look, halfway expecting nothing to be there, thinking maybe I had dreamed it all up.

But no. Something was there.

It was a dead spider.

Oh my. Uncharacteristic of me, I had killed a spider in the middle of the night with my bare hands.

What I love about both these stories is that I had been calmly coexisting with both these insects on my body before I knew they were there. And all had been well.

(Granted, I don’t want to make a habit of it. I got lucky this time. Yet I do wonder how many insects we have crawling across us on a regular basis that we’re unaware of.

. . . And if you do know about bugs? Just don’t tell me.)

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

2. Something Sustaining Me

BOOKS BEYOND THE PAGE

If you’ve visited my blog more than once, you probably know how much I love books. And book clubs.

I had two full-circle experiences at the last two book clubs I attended this month.

One was at my banned book club. This month, instead of reading a banned book, we read a book about banned books, How to Defend Books and Why: Book Bans and How We Fight Them.

Then we talked about the next month’s book (always a banned book), and it actually got talked down, essentially we banned a banned book from the banned book club.

Instead, we switched to a different banned book to read in October: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. (You might be surprised to see the books that make the banned and challenged book lists.)

It was an enlightening experience to watch the conversation happen in real time, realizing how complex these decisions are, instead of simply seeing them as black and white.

The second book club experience centered around a book of first-hand stories from a specific minority population. Rather than having those of us outside that population sit around and talk about the book, our group leader invited a woman from that minority to join us and share her personal experience living it.

It really brought the conversation alive.

Hearing from a real person in front of us was different than simply reading words on a page.

I love books for how they teach us new things, but I also love when books open us to new experiences beyond the book itself.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

3. Something Carrying Me Forward

AUTHOR ENCOUNTERS

I got to meet two authors the past few weeks. And now I’m taking both their books with me into October.

I met Sarah Stankorb at a session at the Wild Goose Festival. She was so kind, and I appreciated her graciousness in how she moderated a sensitive discussion.

Along the way, she happened to mention that she had a book coming out soon. I wrote down the title to look up when I got home: Damned If She Does: Why Women Quit Church and What It Means for the Future of Religion.

I then tracked down an early copy of the audiobook from NetGalley. It’s been fascinating to listen to. I have three hours still to go, and then I’ll review it here. It published September 15, 2026.

The second author I met was Priya Parker, whose book The Art of Gathering was influential for one of my book clubs this year. We’ve had some fun gatherings modeled on some of her suggestions since we read it.

Now she has a new book, The Art of Fighting, that published September 8, 2026.

If I didn’t already know that I loved Priya’s work, I might not have been interested in a book about fighting. But because I had already seen how much her previous work had done for our group, a few of us signed up to see her in person when she came to our city last week.

Before the event began, we got to talk with Priya for a few minutes and tell her about her first book’s effect on us. She was genuinely interested and asked good questions about our gatherings.

We’ll be starting The Art of Fighting in a few weeks as our next book club selection.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

4. Something I’m Making Space For

BEHIND THE SCENES

Most everyone in the US is likely aware of our elections in November. So I’ve been doing data work with one of the groups I volunteer with to encourage people to go to the polls.

Another group I volunteer with is a disaster response group. We’ve been updating our old website, so I’ve been helping with some of the data and organizational pieces of that.

Neither of these tasks are particularly exciting. They’re not hands-on, nor do they directly help other people.

But nonetheless, behind-the-scenes work is necessary, too.

It’s a good reminder to me that a lot of benefits I receive in life are because people are doing invisible work that I may never see or understand. I want to be more grateful for that.

All in all, September gave me plenty to notice: bugs, books, authors, behind-the-scenes work, and more.

It’s been a good month for me.

How was your month? Share in the comments.

I’m linking at these blog parties

Maybe There’s Still More to Learn?
{One Word 2026 September Linkup}

How often do you question what you already know? It’s easy to overlook our ordinary knowledge as if it’s settled.

But what if there’s still more to see about something you’re already familiar with?

Try choosing some everyday thing—a word (maybe your One Word of the Year?), an idea, a place, a hobby, a relationship, even a belief—and see what happens if you get a bit more curious about it.

After deciding on a topic, try these ideas.

LOOK IT UP

There are hundreds of ways to learn more about anything.

Talk to an expert.
Experiment with it.
Explore online.
Use a paper dictionary.
Open it up.
Read a book.

NOTICE WHAT’S NEW

Pay attention to what truly sparks your interest. Let go of the boring stuff and go down a rabbit hole for fun. Find a few things you didn’t know before.

Sometimes a tiny bit of new information can open a much wider door.

ASK YOURSELF

What surprised me?
Did it change my thinking in some way?
Will anything I learned change something in my everyday life?

MY WORD: SHIFT

I did this exercise with Shift, my One Word. And honestly, I didn’t expect to find much because I’ve already been looking at the word for 9 months.

But I was wrong. I uncovered some very interesting and new things.

Here are four rabbit holes I went down with Shift:

1. No Label Shift Key

When I got a new Mac laptop, I noticed that words were missing from some of the keys. My Shift key no longer says anything; it’s just an up arrow.

The word Delete is also gone. It’s now simply a back arrow.

old keyboard vs new keyboard

Apparently the U.S. has been lagging behind. Only in March 2026 did Apple switch to using “glyphs” instead of text labels on their keyboards. A few words do remain…esc, fn, command, etc.

But don’t look for caps lock, tab, or return.

And something else I found out: the earlier typewriters had no shift keys. Everything was typed in all capital letters. They eventually introduced a shift function when they added two carriages: one for lower-case and one for upper-case. It continued evolving from there.

2. Shifting Gears

I asked my bicycle expert husband to help me better understand how gears work. I quickly saw how ignorant I’ve been. Jeff taught me a lot. I learned even more by watching a couple YouTube videos.

3. Shift Sculpture

Photo by Simon Rabyniuk and Pooya Aledvood

In King City, Ontario, Canada, lies a large outdoor concrete sculpture (I’d call it a wall) built in 1972 in a farmer’s field. It is an example of contemporary ecological art named “Shift” by the acclaimed sculptor Richard Serra. Jeff and I also watched a documentary about it.

So interesting how six concrete walls have created such a stir over the years for various reasons.

4. Character “Shift” in The Chronicles of Narnia

Keith Robinson

It’s been awhile since I’ve read book 7, The Last Battle, in the Narnia series. I’d forgotten there is a character named Shift. He’s a talking ape, “the cleverest, ugliest, most wrinkled Ape you can imagine.”

In the book, Shift appoints himself to be a fake spokesman for Aslan. He’s quite shifty (deceptive) and his character shifts (changes) throughout the book.

Share With Us

If there’s something you’re interested in, take another look. Ask a new question. There’s always more to learn.

Share your discoveries in a comment below or link a blog post (open until October 10).

Upcoming: Our October monthly linkup opens Monday, October 26.

Question for you:

What’s something new you’re discovering? Share in the comments.

If you’d like to receive our monthly One Word emails and ideas for 2026, join here.

- Get more One Word ideas here

Link Up About Your One Word

When You Sit at the Wrong Table

By LisaNotes September 23, 2026 Encouragement, My stories, Shift: One Word 2026 8 Comments

We’re rushing. My husband Jeff and I hurriedly grab a seat beside five other participants at the round table labeled “Convo Table 1” under the tent. They’ve already begun.

It’s a hot September day. A fan is blowing air our direction. I settle in as comfortably as I can into my chair for the next hour.

The leader passes us his handout.

I look at the title.

That’s when the first uh-oh hits.

Did we sit at the wrong table?

We Don’t Always Choose the Same

While Jeff and I come to the Wild Goose Festival together—and leave together—we don’t always stay here together. Every hour offers multiple sessions.

And we rarely choose the same ones.

At one hour, you may find me deep in emotional conversations with fellow contemplatives at “Death Cafe,” while at the same hour Jeff is laughing it up with new friends at “Pub Trivia.”

No judgment on either of us. Both tracks are great. No right or wrong.

So when I convince him to join me for the 4:00 session called “Fishbowl Circle Conversations,” I want it to be good. For both of us.

The conversations are to center around this: “One thing we’re not talking about, but we should be talking about is…”
Sounds both fun and enlightening.

I look again at this handout in front of me—with its tiny font and words crowded together on front and back pages. I glance sideways at Jeff also looking at it.

I start feeling sick.

The topic listed is definitely something we’ve not been talking about.
But neither is it something I want to spend the next hour talking about.

I whisper to Jeff, “Maybe this is just a sample conversation starter?”

His eyes answer: What have you gotten me into?

I search frantically for the festival schedule.

We’re sitting at Convo Table 1.
The session I had circled for the fishbowl conversation is at…Convo Table 2.

What do we do now?

The Polite Thing to Do

I was brought up to be polite.

Every good Southern girl is trained that “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” To pull your car to the side of the road when a funeral procession passes by, no matter the hurry you’re in. To offer a “Bless your heart” at the appropriate moment.

So to get up and leave this table midstream just because it’s boring to me?
Unthinkably rude.

But staying here for an hour, knowing I got Jeff into this mess (and he’d be even more bored by this topic than I am!), also seems disrespectful. To him and to me.

I look again at Jeff. I whisper, “Can we just…leave?”

He’s already gathering his things.

I wait for a tiny break in the speaker’s monologue and then announce, “I’m so sorry, but we’re at the wrong table.”

We set our handouts back on the table, stand up, and walk away.

Sometimes, Just Leave

There are many lessons I could have learned that day—including triple-checking the location next time.

But the lesson I’m taking away is that sometimes I am going to end up at the wrong table. (Sometimes it’s even the table I thought I wanted.)

I’ve often stayed too long in places I needed to leave sooner, simply because I didn’t want to appear rude. Or didn’t want to admit I made a mistake. Or I was slow to even realize this table wasn’t for me.

Sometimes that’s been okay. I learned things. Some of them quite valuable things.

But other times, it’s just been wrong. Period. And there was no value in staying.

When those times come, I want to be quicker to admit the error. And leave. Change course. Go a different direction.

I’m happy to report that after leaving Table 1 for Table 2 that Friday, we had amazing fishbowl conversations, experimenting with a format I’ve never used before (and have since used at home!).

But that’s a lesson for another day. . . .

I’m not going to tell you what topic was on the handout at Table 1, lest I offend anyone. What I found terribly boring might be something you could talk about for hours. 😉

Share your thoughts in the comments.

What I Left Beneath Two Trees

By LisaNotes September 16, 2026 Shift: One Word 2026 7 Comments

My husband Jeff asks if I’d like a turn with the shovel.

“Yes.”

On this smoldering Thursday afternoon at a campground in North Carolina, I shovel a few piles of dirt back into the hole around the newly planted tree.

But there is more than a tree being planted today. The dozen people around me and I have already put something important into the hole, too.

This was our first event on the opening Thursday afternoon of the Wild Goose Festival. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this experience we’d chosen to participate in: “Planting Trees and Commitments to Peace.”

The description in the schedule said that while we’d actually plant trees on site, we’d also plant commitments to regenerate life—not only here, but in our own lives.

That was enough information for me.
I am all in.

Remember Your Trees

We had already gathered in a circle underneath a canopy.

Since this was a four-day, completely outdoor festival, the facilitators Pablo and Aaron began by giving thanks to the earth for all it would give us over the weekend. Pablo reminded us, “Dogs may be man’s best friend, but trees are man’s best neighbor.”

Our gratitude was something small we could give back.

We then took turns telling why each of us had chosen to participate in this tree-planting session.

I went back twenty years. On a spring day, I had been inside our home when I began hearing thuds outside. Trees in the lot next to our house were falling. I ran outside to see bulldozers pushing one huge tree after another to the ground.

I knew the land belonged to a cultural center that wanted to expand. They already had a small building there. Now they wanted to move into something larger.

So the trees had to get out of the way.

I was heartbroken watching the giant beauties fall one after the other.

It was in that moment that I realized how much I loved trees. And how I never wanted to take trees for granted again.

The feeling has stayed with me.

After sharing this story with the group, I listened to others share their own stories:

Jeff talked about the fun we had a week earlier watching our nephews break up fallen hickory nuts.
Another man told about sitting beneath a favorite tree with his grandfather.
A woman said walking among trees helped her find peace during a difficult season.

Different memories, but a common thread: trees are living things themselves.
And they give us peace, hope, and life in more ways than we realize.

The Two Questions

After the circle discussion, we were each given a piece of paper and asked to answer two questions:

What do you need to release?
What do you need to embrace?

I took the questions seriously. For my own peace and for peace in the world, what did I need to let go of, and what did I need to hold together?

After writing down my answers, I folded the paper and put it in my pocket.

We moved to a nearby small hill on the campground where two medium-sized trees waited in pots, each native to North Carolina.

Several people took turns with shovels, digging two good-sized holes. When the holes were deep and wide enough, we each tore our papers in half.

One half went into one hole.
The other half went into the other.

Then we planted the trees.

Dirt.
Mulch.
Water for the willow oak tree.

Dirt.
Mulch.
Water for the bald cypress tree.

Planting for Change

I throw in my last few shovelfuls of dirt and pass the shovel to someone else.

All done, we tighten our circle once more, gathering around the newly planted trees. An Indigenous man in our group sings a blessing in his original language.

The ritual is simple. And meaningful.

As the weekend goes on, Aaron and Pablo lead three more groups with similar ceremony and commitment, planting a total of eight trees with the campground owner’s permission and delight.

Now, two weeks later, I find myself still thinking about all those pieces of paper melting back into the earth alongside the tree roots.

The thing on my paper that I wanted to release hasn’t magically disappeared, of course. The thing I wanted to embrace isn’t something I’ve completely figured out either.

Yet I’ll continue working on both. I owe it to myself. And to the trees.

Change doesn’t always happen quickly. Sometimes it comes one shovelful at a time.

A little dirt.
A little mulch.
A little water.

Every Shift Counts

If I return to North Carolina next year, I hope to walk back to the two trees we planted and note how much they’ve grown.

I realize two new trees in the ground won’t change the planet. It won’t undo the harm we continue to pound upon our home.

But I also planted part of myself on that small hill in North Carolina.

Planting the trees shifted something in me. Maybe I’ll have grown some too in a year’s time.

And any change in the right direction, however small, makes a difference.

Is there something you want to release? To embrace? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Don’t Take This Personally

By LisaNotes September 9, 2026 Encouragement 10 Comments

Too Sensitive

I know this about myself: I can be too sensitive. It’s a detriment to me. And a detriment to others.

When I got a phone call about the dishwasher, I was bothered. I was in my 20s. I had recently sold my home to an elderly gentleman.

The following week, he was calling to yell at me that the dishwasher in the home had overflowed. The kitchen floor was soaked. And he was saying it was all my fault.

He was rude.
I was offended.

As we talked, I learned he had put hand dishwashing liquid instead of dishwasher detergent in the dishwasher. It had bubbled to overflowing. Of course it would.

How was this my fault?

Don’t Believe Everything

We suffer unnecessarily when we take things too personally. That’s why I love my third agreement of the four I’ve compiled for myself (See #1, Give the Benefit of the Doubt, and #2, Let Go of Being Right).

# 3. Don’t take it personally.

When we assume someone is being rude to us, we often react badly, defensively. It causes conflict and creates mountains out of molehills.

How can they do this to me?
Why don’t they like me?
Why are they so mean?

And when we get too much praise? We can hold compliments too closely as well, believing every word that is said. We grow proud and haughty and entitled.

When we think everything is about us—good or bad—we’re actually being selfish.

And unrealistic.

The stories we make up in our head are usually just that: stories.

Whose Movie Is This?

We each cast ourselves as the star (and director and producer) in our own movie. All our life’s plots revolve around us. And all the people in our relationships are supporting actors.

But here’s the catch:

The supporting actors in our movies are actually busy starring in their own movies.

We all make ourselves the center of our universes.

So when our plots intersect, there’s always more going on than we realize.

It’s Not Personal

So don’t take it personally.

The way someone treats us reveals less about us and more about them. Less about our life and more about theirs.

Knowing that others aren’t centered around us keeps us humble.

It frees us from arrogance.
It reduces conflicts.
It stabilizes our relationships.

We are more free to love others with no strings attached when we are less dependent on their approval for our self-worth and when we’re less disturbed by their disapproval.

Emptying ourselves of taking everything personally helps us live with more peace, more joy, and definitely more grace.

What You Think

The motivations we attach to others’ thoughts may have portions of truth in them, but they also contain large doses of our imagination. (Don’t take your own thoughts too personally either—you may just be tired or hungry or stressed.)

I later learned more truth about the gentleman and the dishwasher and his soap suds. I met one of his daughters. She told me how concerned they were about him. His dementia was getting worse. They weren’t sure he should even be living alone.

Dementia? I hadn’t known that.

Now it made sense. His rant to me wasn’t about me at all. It was about him.

I didn’t need to take it personally.

I rarely should.

It’s not about me as much as I think it is.

* * *

When have you been too sensitive? Do you ever take things too personally? Please share your thoughts here.

~ * ~ * ~

See all 4 agreements (click on individual infographics)

1-Give the benefit of the doubt | 2-Let go of being right | 3-Don’t take it personally | 4-Just show up

revised from the archives

« Previous